Just wonder....

I just wonder.....

I dunno what's happen...

What r my faults...

The last time we contacted, we nvr had any argument/quarrel/misunderstanding...

But she just disappear from me...

Without any clarification...

I miss 1 of my close fren a.k.a best buddy...

The moment we spent & shared 2gether is very precious & meaningful...

A couple of years we we did go thru the moment of joy & sorrow 2gether...

We often share the similarities, esp in the way of how we think of certain issues...

Nevertheless, the differences in our taste & preference doesn't really affect our f/ship...

We just laugh when talking bout our dream "man"...

Becoz of the CHEMISTRY, we manage 2 understand each other in a better way...

Since we r in the same area, same field, same profession, same dream...

We r fated 2 get 2 know each other...

Accept unconditionally, both our strengths & weaknesses, respectively...

My dear fren,

If u read this entry...

I just want u 2 know that I really luv & miss u with full of sincerity & honesty....

F/ship 4ver, lillahi ta'ala...

If this is the 'end' of our f/ship, pliz do 4give me 4 wateva sins/mistakes that I ever committed 2 u...

I'm just an ordinary human being...

Whom may no longer stands 2gether wif u...

I just want u 2 know that u r so special...

U're my strength...

U gave & helped me a lot...

Both in personal & academic...

I'm sure that currently u r really happy & cheerful with ur new status as a FIANCEE...

U have reach ur destiny...

Meanwhile I'm still searching n continuing my journey...

Alone n no longer with u by myside...

Last but not least,

I'm happy 2 c n know that u r happy... 

I pray 4 ur happiness in the coming marriage...

May Allah bless u in wateva u do...

Deeply in my heart, I just want 2 realize that our f/ship is PRICELESS!!

Take care, luv & miss u!!!

...Coretan 1st 2011...

Assalamualaikum & hye everybody!!!

Kpd yg tlh lama m'intai tirai blog sy, pasti dh lama t'nanti2 new entry,kn...(statement perasan)

1st of all, ini adalah coretan sy yg 1st utk 2011...

Dlm 1bln yg tlh b'lalu, byk juga perkara & hal2 yg telah sy lalui...

Yg pasti, ke'busy'an yg t'lampau sudah pasti pnyebab sy tak b'kunjung ke cni...

Rasa mcm nk cite sume tp tak b'daya...

If b'sembang pn bley mkn masa b'jam, inikan pula utk menari2kn jari-jemariku...

Gile semangat ini young lecturer...Jeles dgn korg ok!!!

B4 t'lupa, rasanya masih belum t'lewat utk sy ucapkn Salam Awal Muharram (Maal Hijrah 1432H) & Happy New Year 2011M kpd sume!!!Menyingkap bberapa p'istiwa (yg masih ada dlm memory) ada p'istiwa pahit & manis yg telah b'laku...M'ulas serba-sedikit mengenai rentetan p'jlnn 2010, byk suka-duka yg perlu sy tempuhi/lalui utk b'ada pd thp skrg...

Masih segar dlm ingatan sy p'istiwa pahit yg tak mungkin sy lupa mungkin seumur hidup...Sungguh itu dugaan semasa sy dlm proses menamatkn Master...B4 this dlm m'hadapi apa jua masalah, tak prnh t'lintas utk quit tp masa tuh rasa mcm dh tak mampu lagi nk meneruskn p'jlnn yg tinggal lagi 50%.Sy sama sekali tak prnh m'jangka akan diduga sebegitu...Apa pun, sy terima ketentuan itu dgn redha krn Allah telah memilih sy utk diuji dlm p'istiwa itu...Setiap ujian itu bkn "percuma" krn ada "ganjaran"nya...Dan natijahnya, sy score the highest GPA yg belum prnh sy cecah record sepjg dlm tempoh pengajian semasa undergrads!Ajaib,kn??

Utk p'istiwa manis plak, t'laksana beberapa agenda spt yg direncanakn dlm Azam 2010...Sbg contoh, sy b'jaya menamatkan pengajian Master b4 tamat tempoh yg ditetapkn...Siap b'isterirehat selama 2bln lagi...Dan di saat 2010 melabuhkn tirainya, sy telah memiliki 'liability' lbh awal drpd jgkaan/planing..Apa pun, syukur alhamdulillah!!!Di sini, sy m'curi sedikit ruang masa utk m'buat rumusan b'kaitan rentetan p'jlnn selama 1bln d alaf baru ini:

3 January = Report duty at Faculty of Business Management, UiTM Arau (manis)..Sy tak sangka rezeki pd hari itu, sy yg pd asalnya ditawarkn skim gaji yg lbh rendah telah dinaikkan kpd skim gred gaji yg lbh tinggi dlm sekelip mata...Rezeki New Year!(Alhamdulillah syukur pd Allah...Kpd kwn2 yg masih belum tuh, jgnlh jealous ye...Cpt2lh korg siapkn Project Paper korg...Ahax!~)

14 January = 1 of lecturer from our department, who was formerly my x-1st advisor while I'm doing my Project Paper 4 1st degree, Allahyarham Encik Ahmad Kamal Mohd Noh telah kembali ke rahmatullah...Semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkn dlm glgn org yg b'iman...Arwah sebaya dgn bonda sy, dlm lingkungan awal 50an. Masa beliau supervise sy, more or less bout 3years ago, beliau dh pun sakit2 pd waktu itu...Dan buat kali t'akhir, beliau attended 1st department meeting (2011) which was held on the 3rd January tp on the day sy tak sempat join the meeting since sy report duty on that day...

Apabila dikhabarkn yg beliau hospitalized dan ditempatkn di High Dependency Ward (if tak silap sy, 'up' drpd ICU), sy & rkn2 sejawatan b'gegas melawat arwah pd 10 January...Keadaan beliau ketika itu adalah 'koma' & diberikan ubat tido...Menurut isteri arwah, beliau sudah tak lalu mkn hampir 3wiks...Kata sahabat beliau: "Rupa2nya arwah attended meeting on that day dgn b'kerusi roda adalah utk m'ucapkn selamat tinggal kpd kita sume"...So sad!Apa pun, yg pergi tetap dan telah pn pergi..Kita yg hidup ini perlu meneruskn p'jlnn kita...Yg pasti, suatu hari kelak, kita juga akan m'ikut jejak langkah mereka!Al-Fatihah~

Dlm p'aturan staff UiTM, kami WAJIB m'hadirkn diri dlm 3 sesi p'jumpaan bulanan iaitu:

1) Academic Meeting (Meeting wif all lecturers in UiTM from all faculties - for academic staff only)

2) Staff Assembly (All staff, both academic & admin)

3) Department Meeting (Meeting wif all lecturers from within the same department/faculty)

16 January = Pindah masuk ke umah 1 of my colleague...Thanx 2 Wani 4 inviting me 2 stay wif u 4 the mean time I'm seeking another house 2 b rent =) Sian sy,kn...Selama 2wiks menyewa dgn students...2 b frank, act, it is unethical 4 a lecturer 2 stay under 1 roof wif students...It is not about humanitarian aspect but it is more on professionalism which deals wif a lot of P&C matters...

Ada juga lain2 hal yg telah b'laku spjg p'libatan sy dlm academic profession ini, namun ia tak dpt dikongsikn dgn umum atas sbb2 internal matters + P&C...Agak2 nk meluahkn perasaan psl anything yg b'kaitan dgn academic/UiTM, baik system mahupun xtvt2nya, Dalili & Nashril la mangsa sy...Hahahaha!~Best ada kwn2 dr lain2 campus, at lis bley b'tkr2 info & sharing story =)

Budak2 pulunnn!!!

Insya'Allah utk next session, akan ada lbh byk lagi cerita menarik, lbh2 lagi mengenai subjects yg sy ajar, colleagues & b'hdpn dgn kerenah students...^__^.Anyway, byk juga p'ubahan dlm campus ni...Biasa la bile dh b'tahun tinggal dan sesekali dtg, pasti ada p'ubahan t'tentu...Tak sempat plak sy nk snap pic..Jgn marah ok!

Last but not least, apa yg bley sy katakan, being a UiTM Lecturer is not as easy as wat most people think...It's quite challenging 4 us...1st of all, 2 join the academic club, u should really admire & passionate wif this job...If u just simply choose this career becoz of hoping 4 a higher pay, u r making a wrong decision in ur path...Yeah; u might receive a higher pay but u should remember that "high pay comes wif high responsibility". 

Tidak t'henti setakat itu, UiTM Lecturer is not merely teaching/lecturing or consultation wif students...But there r a lot of other tasks that need 2 b done!!Bak kata my senior lecturers, "dh terjun dlm bidang ni, jgn nk menyesai!!!"Huhu~Then I know, y the academic qualification is being emphasized in this tertiary education because not everybody can p4m this job n comply 2 the standards...1 more thing, u r the 1 who control ur path...In other word, u nid 2 balance ur stress level because it involves wif high stress level. So, it is no longer practical 2 say that "keje gomen tak stress"!!!

1st month sy stay kt cni, almost everyday sy pulang lewat mlm lantaran menyiapkn tugasan/preparation yg plbagai...Mana taknya, masuk keje pun lmbt...Pehtu dgn nk kejar silibus...Takkan sy nk msuk class without any preparation n just say 2 students "Sorry students, sy tak sempat la nk siapkn slide/preparation utk class arini"...B4 this masa jd student, bley gk la nk delay2 if tak larat buat arini, continue esok dan seterusnya but now, cannot do that!!So, by hook or by crook, when the times come, I must complete it..In short, dok jd keje last minute je la baru pecut...

Masih terasa spt di awang2n tak percaya dh naik level from student --> academician...Huhu!~

Boleh bygkn, proposal nk kena submit b4 3pm, tp sy tghari tuh baru terangkak2 edit sana cni, naik turun b'kejar ke sana ke mari, minta sign senior lecturers dll...Pehtu ada foreign university came 4 a visit pd tghari, pg tuh baru gi uruskn pasal tentative programme book...Perghhh!~Kira b'silat saja!!Ni pun masih byk tugas yg menanti...Kira tak sempat lagi la setakat ni, nk rasa mcm "takde keje"...Mana taknya, dh buat planing baik2 tp akan ada2 je prkra yg dtg memintas d tgh2...Tiba2 je dpt phone calls dr senior lecturers request handle itu ini...So, no choice but nid 2 accept it!I always remind myself 2 "expect the unexpected"!!!

Finally....!!!

P'jadualan rutin harian sy nampaknya akan m'alami p'ubahan m'jelang alaf baru ini...

Slps ini sy mungkin akan kekurangan masa utk b'blogging...

Syukur alhamdulillah t'lerai sudah p'soalan yg b'main dlm fikiran kblkgn ini...

Pd 27 December 2010, b'tmpt di UiTM S/Alam, sy dgn ini officially tlh diisytiharkn m'dpt posting di tmpt yg prnh sy menimba ilmu suatu ketika dulu iaitu --> UiTM ARAU...

4 years ago...

Adakah ia m'bawa maksud bahawasanya sy perlu b'khidmat & menabur bakti di tmpt yg prnh b'jasa kpd sy?

Sy redha dgn ketentuan ini w/pun hasrat di hati mahu b'hijrah dr belenggu negeri2 utara tanahair utk m'cari pgalaman di selatan tanahair tp sudah t'tulis rezeki sy di sini...Brgkali jumpa jodoh pn di sini, sape tahu,kn??

Since 2003 (tmt secondary school) till today, sy menapak di utara & akan mneruskan pemastautinan t'sebut...

Insya'Allah 3 January 2011 akan m'jd tarikh keramat buat sy m'anggotai para academician & sifu2 di sana...

Semoga para senior & former lecturers sy sudi m'beri tunjuk ajar kpd anak muda yg baru setahun jagung ini...

Sy pasti mereka sgt girang menerima kehadiran sy sbb ada sifu yg dh siap invite sy buat research paper/publication & present during conference....Wowww!!Toche2~

2 years ago...

Tetapi 4 the time being, sengaja sy rahsiakn dulu drpd pengetahuan mereka sbb nk bikin SURPRISE la konon!!!

Skrg ini sy agak busy dgn urusan kemasukan spt borg2, docs, medical checkup, tmpt penginapan, dll.

Tak dilupakn juga personal belongings...Hampir t'lupa p'sediaan diri spt pakaian & alat kelengkapan serta buku2 rujukan yg bkl digunakn...

Nervousnya lahaiii menanti detik itu smpai tak lalu mkn...Semcm tak percaya pn ada...

Insya'Allah sy akan cuba berikan yg t'baik selama mana sy masih b'ada di landasan matlamat & tgggjwb yg sebenar...Sy yg pilih jln ini...Maka, seikhlas hati ingin sy p'sembahkan!Tgh b'semangat nih w/pun mcm cuak + takut + t'ketar2 nk mgajar...Gegegege!~

+ UiTM di Hatiku...Usaha, Taqwa, Mulia!!! +

~ Wif my best buddy a.k.a lecturer Dalili Izni @ UiTM Mache ~

Jutaan terima kasih kpd pihak UiTM & MOHE yg tlh b'besar hati menaja pengajian Master sy secara local di UUM...

Semoga pd masa akan dtg, sy diberi lagi peluang utk further PhD di oversea pula, insya'Allah!!

Wish me best of luck & all the best!!!

Mohon kwn2 & kenalan dpt doakan langkah p'mulaan sy dlm m'didik anak bangsa...Moga2 setiap usaha & hasil yg diperolehi akan diberkati Allah...

Utk target jgka masa pjg, sy sgt b'harap agar sumbangan yg tak seberapa ini akan m'bantu me+ saham sy di Akhirat kelak....Aminnn!!!~

Perasaan yg b'celaru....

Sy tak perasan plak yg b4 ni sy ada t'post entry yg sama 2kali sbb tiada yg menegur di ruangn comment/chat...Jd silent reader je blaka heh!Hurm; arini perasaan sy agak b'celaru...Tak tahu la nk kata cmna...Tp ada rasa sedey dlm jiwa...Sy spt tak rela utk melakuknnya namun tiada plhn.Brtnya rasa utk m'ambil tndkn t'sebut nmun sy tiada plhn.Dlm ati dh nangis cumanya ia tak dizahirkan lagi...If ikutkn apa yg t'lakar di benak fikiran ini, apa yg b'laku agak t'pesong drpd landasan/mtlmt asal.Sdh tentu resultnya adlh KECEWA.Sy b'usaha utk memujuk diri agar menerima apa yg tlh ditakdirkn utk sy pd hari ini sambil mengatakn semoga ada hikmah di sebalik ketidaksamaan dr pelan asal dan resultnya.Mungkin ini adlh kebaikan buat diri sy utk jangka masa pjg.Insya'Allah sy akan cuba utk "menebusnya" kembali...Rupa2nya apa yg sy 'simpan & jaga' selama ini adlh utk 'diserahkan' pd hari ini dgn hati yg sgt berat...Semoga Allah p'mudahkn segala urusan sy yg akan dtg...

Selain itu, ditambah pula dgn kerisauan yg b'tandang memikirkn akan 'menyerah diri' kpd UiTM pd next wik...Nervousnya lahaiii!!Harapnya kami tak perlu menunggu lama utk mengetahui result posting memandangkn students akan mula kuliah pd 3Jan 2011.Sy taktau nk kata kampus manakh yg m'jd plhn sy...Dlm kpala tuh ada la b'angan tp sy serahkn kpd Allah utk m'berikn yg t'baik utk sy krn Dia Yg Maha Mengetahui...Pening plak fikir Bajet Belanjawan Diri 2011...Apa2 pn keputusannya mungkin bkl diketahui pd minggu hdpn...Alahaiii kecutnya...Tiba2 rasa takut & not well-prepared nk hdpi hari2 m'dtg...Cmna nih??

Terima kasih kpd Eni & Hazz yg dtg menyemarakkn ptg sy...Rasa mcm terus sembuh dr sakit...Act mood/emotional mcm K.O myB coz "bulan b'tandang"...Pjg umur 'bulan'...Walhal baru je lps sebut kata udah merasa 'simptom'...Pdnlh hati sy gundah-gulana & gelisah...Ohh cptlh b'lalu 1wik yg tak best ini....Dan juga tak sabar utk m'ucapkn slmt tinggal kpd 2010!!~Baru je nk sudahi menari2kn jari-jemari di cni, tup3 ada lagi p'khabaran pahit yg dipersembahkn kpd sy...Tabahlah wahai hati...Ya Allah, berikanlah daku ketenangan dlm m'hadapi pasang surut hidup ini...

+ JCard Day +

Pd 16 December 2010 tlh b'langsung Y.E.S yg b'tmpt di JJ Ipoh..JJ ni mmg suka buat sales pd p'tghn wikdays & p'tghn bulan...Pun begitu kesesakn di JJ tetap nyata apabila ada pekerja yg sanggup m'ambil cuti semata2 utk tujuan ini...Sudah tentu mereka ini gilerrr shopping!!Act m'jelang hujung tahun a.k.a awal tahun, masyarakat sinonim dgn term Y.E.S...Tp harga lbh meletopz apabila ia jatuh special on JCard Day (4 JCard members)..Hurm; apa pn mmg penuh Cina la ble ada sales meletopz kebabommm!!!Rupa2nya sales di JJ dijalankn bkn serentak di semua JJ and it depends.Selama ni sy sangkakn ia seragam...Dan lagi 1, tak sume brg yg kita mahu ada di JJ lain...Sbg contoh, if kita b'kenankn suatu brg di JJ ABC tp kita 'hold on' dan kata tggu kita pergi JJ DEF la, beli kt sana nnti...So, sila jgn kecewa apabila pegi ke JJ DEF, brg yg sama tidak kedapatan...Mengapakh t'jadi ketidakselarian ini??Sy pun tidak pasti...Huhu!

Sy tidak melepaskn peluang utk "m'jenguk" JJ Ipoh b'sempena dgn Y.E.S on JCard Day ni...If we spend RM100, we r entitle 4 a voucher worth RM10..Masa ni je la pn ble b'belanja di JJ baru akn dpt redeem voucher...If pd lain masa, hanya sekadar mengumpul points...Harga meletopz la 10% - 70%...Ada sstgh tmpt siap ada salesman/woman siap bargain guna corong p'besar suara meng'up'kn lagi kpd 80%...Fuhh; sy pn apa lagi, rembat la 2 handbags u!!

1) Casual handbag utk jln2 dan sumbat apa sgala mak nenek dlm tuh ^__^
2) Formal bag utk ke formal academic function/courses or attending lecturing wif students (",)

Act sy tak tour sgt dlm JJ tuh memandangkn org ramai yg sgt menyesakkan...Guna trolley pn tak...Sume pegang by hand sbb if ada trolley pn ssh nk mobilize...(Tndkn psycho supaya tak terus2n m'borong). L/pun, kami msuk ke dlm JJ pn pd 3pm.So mcm takleh nk lama2 sgt dlm tuh coz nk blk b'buka puasa lagi...Kira just tawaf at the ground floor utk brgn diri (clothes/shoes)...Yg bhgn atas household apparel/items mmg tak sempat ushar langsung.Sebut psl kasut, sy ada b'kenan dgn boot ni...It looks elegant...Sy suka sbb boot tuh tak t'lalu tinggi dan tumit pun tak tajam...Kira just nice la!Baru ingat nk beli utk pakai 4 4mal function ke...Tp discount cuma 10%..Kecewa ahh cmni!!Sy tak amik la sbb if nk beli pd harga yg mahal, tak bley la pakai nk tangkap muat je,kn...Baik sy comparekn dgn other brands (Mcm la rajen sgt)...Dh la traveling/casual shoes Adidas yg sy dh lama b'kenan tiada size...Hurhhh knapa jd begini??Bkn senang kot nk t'tawan pd kasut2 t'tentu ni sampai t'bawa2 bygn apabila pulang ke umah....Sob3!~

So, ini je la pun yg sempat sy rembat....

1) Casual jacket yg sesuai dipakai sekiranya b'ada di kwsn yg sejuk dan boleh juga menyarungkannya sekiranya mls utk menukar baju/t-shirt lengan pendek di dlm
2) Formal blazer 4 formal function

In conclusion, jacket/blazer ini sy rasakan bahawa ia sesuai digayakn/digandingkn dgn bags yg t'sebut di atas...Weehu!~Misi seterusnya adlh m'cari kasut-masut yg sesuai...Ohh ye, sy kecewa lagi apabila tiada skirt labuh yg dijual....Sumenya kemeja/blazer yg dipadankn dgn skirt pendek ok!Kata salesgurl itu, bley m'jenguk2 di Padini...Ok beres!!