Final week 4 this semester

Akhirnya p'hitungan hari udah sipi2 ke p'hujungnya...Dh lama menanti utk m'akhiri semester ini...So this week is the final week...Next week study week + final exam start...So far, tests2 dh marking cuma tinggal utk 1 code je...Selebihnya utk marking assignment n pending 4 presentation marks...Insya'Allah in mid of April, bley la rest sket...Capek banget udeh!

Dh lama tak m'coret krn dh lama tak on lappy sendiri...Sblm ni lappy ni t'sadai di umah n baru klua dr 'ward'...Tup3 PC office buat hal n takleh nk reboot...Tak pasal kena m'angkut lappy naik ke bilik...Berat kot...Sabooo je le...

Alhamdulillah segala puji bagi Allah yg masih m'berikan sy nikmat kesihatan utk melakukan tugasan harian...Emosi tatkala ini b'statuskan MENDUNG...Not feel so good, yet not really happy...Sy menyerahkan p'harapan & doa kpd Allah atas apa yg b'laku...Sungguh, hati sy sakit dgn perlian, tuduhan n sindiran yg dilemparkan...Namun sy pasrah...Sy tidak melawan dgn emosi tp melalui kekuatan hati...Melawan dgn emosi hanya menampakkan ketidak matangan dan seolah2 sy berada di pihak yg salah di mana beria2 pula ingin m'pertahankan kata2 yg dilemparkan...

Terima kasih buat 2 BFF yg memahami apa yg sy lalui dan sy rasai skrg..'Dia' tidak memahami krn dia tidak pernah melalui situasi seumpama ini...Ada statement yg menyifatkan sy sbg "emotional"...Lucu juga...Emosi sy sering dipendam n jrg dipamerkan...Kalau ye pn sy b'emosi, b'sesuaianlah dgn situasi sy skrg ini...Tak mcm 'dia' yg sentiasa b'emosi tak kira masa sama ada time suci / uzur...Oppsss!!Apabila 'dia' m'beri p'dapat, selalunya dia rasakan dialah yg paling betul...Kesian pun ada...

Kewujudan sy dlm 'laman' itu m'beri sy beberapa pengajaran:

1) Hal peribadi perlu ditapis sebelum dikongsi...Ada yg tanpa segan-silu m'ceritakan perihal hubungan intim, luahan tahap kepuasan dll

2) M'ceritakan kelemahan pasangan (mungkin niat asalnya bkn utk m'burukkan) sehingga t'gamak m'biarkan org lain mengutuk suami...

3) Byk bicara hal yg tak perlu, byk dosa...

4) Hal peribadi boleh dijadikan 1 sumber utk m'jatuhkan seseorang...Agaknya kalau 'dia' jd reporter, perhaps become an annoying reporter...Tiada siapa yg berhak utk paksa kita cerita hal peribadi sekiranya kita tidak b'kehendakkannya

5) Sometimes, keeping silent is better...Wat people say?"Silent is killer"!

6) Tak semua org merasa senang n bahagia dgn nikmat & anugerah yg  dipinjamkan Allah...Manusia ini ada yg b'muka2...Dpn buat baik tp belakang busuk ati...Ada yg t'tekan/dengki melihat kejayaan/kebahagiaan org lain...Ada pula org yg m'harap diberi pujian atas nikmat & anugerah yg dmiliki...Sekiranya tidak dijaga, dgn bisikan syaitan, niat boleh b'ubah drpd ikhlas ingin b'kongsi ---> riak

7) We know who can be our 'sahabat', who cares about us n who I do care about...Most of them r more towards just like getting 2 know about other people's matter without full of concern n empathiness....

Apa pun, sy nekad utk meneruskannya...Kalau sy telah b'tahan sehinggan ke hari ini, insya'Allah sy akan terus melakukannya biarpun setelah t'jawab segalanya...Wallahua'lam!

~ Happy 1st Anniversary ~

Alhamdulillah, genap sudah 1 tahun usia p'nikahan kami, suami isteri...Syukur padaMu ya Allah, terima kasih atas anugerah & nikmat kasih syg yg Kau kurniakan kpd kami...Ya Allah, restuilah p'kahwinan kami sehingga ke syurga....Berkatilah ikatan ini dgn rahmat & kasih sygMu agar kekal mewangi, sentiasa mekar, terasa seperti hari2 yg dilalui umpama pengantin baru...

Bagi kebanyakan pasangan, mereka dpt celebrate anniversary b'sama2....Tp utk kami, celebration is 'postpone'...Utk honeymoon, already in-advance...Dh qadha siap2 memandangkan ramalan pd hari ini adalah tak m'izinkan...

Mlm semalam sukar mata utk lelap bila t'bayangkan di kala itu pd tahun lepas, merupakan mlm b'inai...n t'tidur di kerusi (nk jaga inai la konon + takmo bg katil kotor) tp disebabkan tiada 'assistant' yg sudi menemani sy hingga ke larut mlm, sy pn alone n inai di jari udah kering...Sudahnya sy cuci inai utk tidur atas katil..Almost overslept...Yg 'tunang' pn t'jaga awal dr bese, tak plak ingat nk tlg kejut bakal isteri ni...Nervous ke??

Muka penat lama kena queue b4 dpt masuk Rumah T'balik

Kami m'buat short plan n decide 2 visit Kota Kinabalu 4 da 1st tyme in our life...Dh lama sy b'hajat nk ke negeri pantai timur seberang laut...Asyik dok t'mimpi2 je...

Muka mamai...Just wakeup from sleeping while husband was driving...Cara utk cover pening kepala naik kwsn Kundasang yg b'pusing2

Visiting Kota Kinabalu such a nice experience to us n we hope we can go there again n again...Lupa plak nk tangkap gambo @ Pasar Philippines...

Sempat menikmati strawberry....Feveret fruit since dulu2

Fruits and vegetables sold in Kundasang is not that cheap...n of course it's more expensive as compared 2 in Peninsular...

Sight-seeing...Menikmati keindahan ciptaan Allah..Subhanallah!

Pd pg hari yg indah di Kundasang...Ohhh cuaca yg sungguh sejuk, nyaman n cloudy...Fuhhh!Nk mandi pn gigil2 je...

Serious takmo panjat dh Canopy Walk nih...Nk t'cabut lutut, t'mengah2 kot...Fuhhh!!

Last place we visit b4 leaving Kundasang/Poring is Hotspring (Canopy Walk)...Jauh jgk la dr Kota Kinabalu sbb dr Kundasang, kena masuk dalam lagi n patah blk ke Kundasang utk sampai ke Kota Kinabalu...

Lot's of luv,

Wifey!

~ Mimpi ~

4 da 1st tyme, 1st entry in 2013 =)

Not really in mood 2 write in a blog, at this moment, ekceli...Tp since boring punya pasal, maka menari2kan juga la jari ini...Saja nk story a lil bit bout MIMPI...Takde la apa sgt pn..In this week, 2 kali sy mimpi b'komunikasi dgn org yg telah meninggal dunia iaitu arwah mak kwn sy yg meninggal dlm November 2012 n arwah tok sy yg passed away on December 2011...

Dulu2 masa sy still a student (di tempat sy belajar skrg) sy kerap b'tandang ke umah kwn sy yg b'kenaan...My feveret dishes is ikan bakar talapia + air asam...Arwah maknya n ayahnya mmg rajen melayan kehendak sy...Mmg sy takde juadah lain yg diingini...Ada hari sy dtg, ada rezeki...Ada hari sy dtg seprais, takde rezeki...Tue la padahnya takmo bgtau awal2, kn...Apa pn, masa dh b'lalu...Setelah kwn sy b'kawen, sy dh tak lagi m'jengah ke umah tuh sbb canggung...Baru2 ni sy mimpi arwah mak dia (masih hidup) n buatkn sy air asam...Tp air asam tuh tak siap2 pula..Dok proses apa kt sinki pn sy taktau..Last2 sy t'sedar dr mainan tidur...

Masa qailulah tghari td, sy mimpikn arwah tok..Dlm mimpi, tok begitu ramah sekali dgn sy sdgkn tok sy jenis yg p'diam n tak byk ckp..Tok begitu b'semangat sekali nk ikut sy blk Ipoh..Semasa di alam mipi, sy b'tanya kpd diri sy sendiri...How come sy bley comunicate dgn tok sdgkn tok dh meninggal?Sy menangis dlm mimpi n bygn tok pn ilang...Lantaran i2, sy terus t'sedar n air mata sy penuh dlm kelopak mata...

Barangkali ke2-2 petanda ini meminta doa sy utk mereka di alam sana...Semoga tenang sume roh di sana...22+ thn yg lalu ketika arwah tokwan kembali ke rahmatullah, tok m'jadi murung n tak lalu mkn selama bberapa bln...Sy pn rindukn arwah tokwan yg suka melayan cucu2...W/pun hanya seketika cuma kesempatan b'samanya...Al-Fatihah!

B'alih kpd cite lain pula, lately sy kerap mimpi psl makanan sesaje...Dr sblm kawen lagi m'idam nk mkn Crisp versi cuka yg dibeli di Manchester tp sampai ke hari ni tak dpt2 lagi...Takde 1 pn snack yg menyerupai keinginan sy nih...Tak sangka plak suami juga suatu ketika dulu sukakn snack yg sama...Nampak sgt meniru sy...Tp mmg sedap la...Masam2 gitu...Ble la agaknya diorg kt cni nk produce snack perisa gitu?Dh lama sy sabar menanti...

Last wikend masa suami pulang, katanya ada kemungkinan beliau tak dpt pulang ke pangkuan sy pd wikend kali ini...Secara spontan, laju je air mata mengalir sebaik beliau melafazkn kata2 sedemikian rupa...Air mata m'iringi lambaian beliau krn tak pasti lagi sama ada next wikend akan ketemu or tak...Dr hari ke hari, sy masih m'harap agar suami dpt pulang ke pangkuan sy pd wikend ni, namun sy hampa...Mlm td tidur b'temankn air mata n bangun pg dgn mata yg bengkak...

Seusai solat Subuh, sy t'kulat2 tak keruan taktau nk buat apa..Sy pn t'fikir, apasal sume serba tak kena n tak senang duduk...Rupa2nya m'jadi rutin sy pd pg Sabtu utk prepare brekfes n fetch suami di Terminal Bus Station...Tp pd hari ini, tak b'laku pula seperti itu...Selera mkn ilang...Mood & motivasi juga tiada...Terasa spt tak mahu apa2...Mati kutu juga krn taktau nk buat apa...Keje ada bwk blk tp tak t'mampu nk buatnya sbb setting mengatakan arini wikend n it's time 2 spend 4 my husband...Kereta pn dh lama tak t'bela tanpa jagaan n mandian oleh tuan p'jaga...

Ada rasa keuntungan sejak kawen, alhamdulillah car sy dijaga oleh suami...Sblm kawen mmg sy menuju ke carwash n Service Centre je la...Tp now, dibasuh & divakum secara manual oleh beliau...Ditukar ganti apa2 jua alat yg b'kaitan...If ckp kt sy pn setakat masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri...Oil filter, air filter, spark plug, etc. Pendek kata, byk benda yg beliau dh buat utk sy n b'korban utk sy...Terima kasih sang suami!Cumanya sy dileteri krn berat bdn yg susut 1.5kg...Jarang2 sekali susut sebegini...Sy pn tak m'jangka...Menyalahkan penimbang berat pd mulanya...Huhu!~

~ Pain is a test ~

I've went 4 an outstation 2 S/Alam from 11 - 13 December 2012...It's great 4 me 2 b away from normal workplace...I'm tired with all the nonsense @ workplace...I feel like certain party always interrupt my space in order 2 complete my own tasks, planning n schedule...Our motivation is similarly 2 'iman'...It goes up n down...

People always said that u just carried out ur tasks up 2 certain level based on ur 'ability'...When it reach certain point, seems like u cannot bear with it anymore...Recently, I easily get stressed...n due 2 my condition, it's some sort of reason whereby people starts 2 consider my health well-being, insya'Allah...

I alwiz pray n hoping that everything will run smoothly n easily 4 me...Please Allah, only 2 U, I rely on my hopes & U're the Most Understanding n Merciful...I believe that I can't go through all this without His blessings!Thank u Allah!

Back 2 the outstation story, I reached home more or less about 10.30pm (13 December 2012)...I'm very tired at that nyte until I didn't bath or even wash my face...My head was 'heavy'...But I manage 2 woke up early b4 Subuh n get myself bathe...I feel much more better...About 7.30am, I went 2 da Hospital Kangar (walk-in) n make an appointment immediately with my Orinolaringology Medical Officer...I was suffered 2 2 days since I was outstation due 2 the fungus n nanah inside my ear...Alhamdulillah da suffer ended after the Dr. manage 2 pull out the fungus by using the machine...I believe with the technology in Government Hospital...The Dr. was concerned with my health n he referred me 2 the Dermatology Specialist...Alhamdulillah I got the medicine n allergic cream...4 da next meeting, I need 2 bring GL or else I need 2 pay 4 da medical treatment received @ da general hospital...Hoho!Ohhh my goodness, next month (a.k.a next year), I've got 3 appointments with different medical department....zZzZz!~

After settled all those matters, I went back home quickly coz I'm very tired...Different from usual...I nid 2 sleep n rest...I've received an MC from the Dr....Alhamdulillah...Coz I'm very fatigue, painful n flat...Wat a surprise, when I reached home, my husband was there...I'm speechless n canot say anything because of shock, surprised n at da same time, I have no energy...

Allah's plan is the best...He knows the best thing 4 us...I didn't even come across my mind that my husband will come back earlier...n da hikmah is, he is da 1 who took care of me during da weekend where I cannot wake up on my own as well as need him 2 lay on my body during walking...n I pray by 'seating'....I have no energy n just sleeping on the bed...Thank u so much my beloved husband, 4 ur sacrifice n taking care of me...I always pray that whenever I fall sick, let my husband around at dat time n alhamdulillah Allah is the Most Understanding...

If at that time I was being taken 2 da hospital, perhaps I'm gonna b admitted in da ward...Alhamdulillah I already recovered but da pain does not heal 100%...I'm not sure da reason y I'm very 'flatful'...Whether da Iron (200mg - 2 add blood) is already out of stock or because of travelling long distance was tiring...Yesterday, we took a Homoepathy as additional medicine 4 me so that my health will be better...Tonight, my husband already went back 2 his workplace...It's difficult 4 me 2 close my eyes eventhough I'm already sleepy...Deep in my heart, only Allah knows...Alhamdulillah, I manage 2 recover at da moment he is going back...He left with me, his spirit 2 make me become stronger, insya'Allah!

Bebanan Tugas...

Kadangkala terasa malas utk come out dgn new blog entry sbb ada STALKER...I 'dislike' (guna wording molek sket) stalker...Stalker nih ibaratnya 'rambut sama itam tp hati lain2'...Apa yg boleh dikatakan, stalker nih suka amek tau hal org lain ala2 menyibuk2 m'intai gitu...Yg sakit hatinya, psstt2 pd org lain pula sementelah itu...Suka korek rahsia org lain dgn b'tanya kpd org t'dekat...Syukurlah org t'dekat sy bkn jenis yg suka m'buat radio buruk...Sy berasa tak selesa dikelilingi org2 seumpama ini n semakin tawar utk update apa2...

Prihatin?Tidak sama sekali!Org yg prihatin akan approach kita directly...Sentiasa update dgn kita...Mentang2lh sy takde watsapp, p'khabaran sesuatu perkara itu tak pula dikongsi dgn sy tp sebaliknya dikongsi dgn rantaian kumpulan sdgkn sblmnya, dia baik & rapat dgn sy...B'balik kpd entry title di atas, sy rasa muak dgn bebanan kerja yg menyusahkan n motivasi kerap menurun...Sampai bilakh harus dilalui keadaan spt ini?Bknlh sy tak b'syukur dgn rezeki yg sy kecapi pd hari ni...Alhamdulillah atas segala nikmat yg Allah berikan...

Bila dh mixed dgn mcm ragam kerenah punya org, sy rasa mcm nk patah blk masa utk tukar degree field...Dulu ingat seronok mengenali karakter manusia n socialization tp makin hari makin memeningkan pula...Nah; ini la dia dulu suka sgt...HR la katakan...Lambatnya lahai lagi nk PENCEN...Org tua2 yg takmooo pencen tuh, meh la kte switch...