Mood hari ni tak brapa nk ok...Spt b'arak mendung awan yg kelabu...Sukar rupanya utk +ve kn minda apabila kritikan diterima...Tak semudah utk t'balikkan mindset apabila disarankan menerima perkara yg -ve scara +ve...Lbh2 lagi apabila kritikan yg diterima itu sama skali tak dijangka setelah b'usaha b'sungguh2 utk m'jayakannya...Namun apakah ini yg dikatakan harga sebuah "p'hargaan"?Dlm hati sedey...Rasa pilu...Namun sedaya-upaya memujuk hati yg "t'calar" supaya ia tak m'beri kesan pd masa dan tindakan yg akan dtg...M'cari kesalahan/kelemahan org mmg mudah...Mengapakah sy berasa 'down' apabila menerima maklum akan hal ini?Frustrated brgkali!Sbb tak t'lintas dek fikiran...Sepatutnya sy berasa lbh motivated utk improve the situation tp sbaliknya pula...Apakah diri ini telah b'putus asa?If ikutkan asalnya, sy sendiri rasa 'inferior' n low self-confidence utk melakukannya di samping kecetekan ilmu knowledge & experience...
Kejadian lelaki & wanita itu b'beza...Lelaki senang la bleh kata:"Takyah fikir nk fikir sgt....".Itu ayat lelaki tp wanita?They will keep on thinking n thinking n thinking...Sudahnya makan hati...Bila nk jd hati kebal pn taktau...Padanlah tak jd artist...If jd artist, jenuh gk kot if tak mampu nk 'menahan'...Huhu!~Bkn pujian yg sy dambakan tp p'hargaan & semangat yg sy perlukn...Terima kasih atas kritikan itu...I hope 1 day later, u'll feel how I feel today!Sy halalkan ilmu yg sy curahkan, namun kita tgk la nnti apakah 'A' akan jd milik kamu krn hidup ini KARMA...
Itu kisah 1st...2nd is, arini last day period utk course registration 4 students...Dlm erti kata, 3wiks of lecture have been done...Tp arini sy agak marah dgn students yg tak prnh turn up in my class...Kesabaran sy spt dicabar...Mereka register my subjects tp mereka tak prnh hadirkan diri...If ada pn, hanya seorg yg msg sy last week mengatakan dia ada prob clash subjects n dh pn settle but suddenly today pn tak jengulkn muka....Sy dh bg tempoh 3wiks that's enuf!IHope not 2 c u in my class next week!Jgn ingat ble repeaters, sy akan bg muka...Lbh2 lagi ble u have attitude problems...Ohh tidak sama skali!!!I want only serious students in my class...If students 2 repeat, tp punya attitude yg baik, sy tak susah nk cooperate tp bila las sem pn dh buat sy geram, so sem nih kamu buat halai-balai je dgn sy, sori laaaaa...!!!Sy punya la b'usaha sedaya-upaya if bley takmo ada students yg repeat paper tp ini effort yg kamu bg pd sy??Ingat sy suka sgt ke, nk failkn students?Bkn snang kot nk buat decision...Ni la dilema lecturer...Students yg create problem, lecturer plak yg prihatin?So ble dh jd cmnih, baru tau nk minta 'tolongggg'...If diri sendiri pn tak tolong, free2 je nk minta lecturer tolong?Cmna nk tolonggg if takde effort?
Last week, sy m'dpt msg dr seorg students mengatakn dia ingin b'jmpa sy (last sem punya students)...Dlm hati mulanya b'tanya apa hal dia nk jmpa sy..Nk kata dia student yg close dgn sy, tak plak...Tp sekilas ikan di air, sy dh dpt agak tujuan kdtgn yg dijanjikn namun sy buat2 taktau...Tiba pd masa yg dijanjikn di bilik sy, maka dtglh sekumpulan 4org yg sy namakn sbg A.H.L.I...Yg msg sy adalah 'A'...Yg memulakan dialog adalah 'H'..."Watak" yg sbnr dlm slot ini adalah 'I'...Maka, 'A','L' & 'H' hanya menemani 'I'...Pd awal dialog, 'H' dilihat cuba menyusun kata....Yg b'masalah ialah 'I' tp 'I' spt "bisu" utk b'kata2...Kdg2 sy tak faham knapa perlu 'A' yg contact sy tp bkn 'I' sendiri...Sy melihat 'H' cuba menyusun kata2...Dpt dilihat di situ b4 mereka b'jumpa sy, mereka telah merangka apa n bagaimana ingin meneruskn sesi dialog ini...
S=Ya?Ada apa yg sy bleh bantu?
H=Hurmmmm....
S=Jdnya apa tujuan kdtgn kamu?
H=Sbnrnya mcm ni Miss...(Sambil 'H' cuba m'cari ayat yg sesuai sy cuma m'biarkan saja)
S=(Masih lagi menunggu)
H=(Sambil b'basa-basi)...Miss ada simpan lagi tak carry mark last sem?
S=Sy takde save...Sy dh submit kamu punya marks...If ada pn cuma raw data yg belum convert into %
H=Boleh tak if kami nk tahu carry mark kami?
S=Aittt...Baru skrg nk tanya carry mark?Arituh sy dh pampang, kamu tak tgk ke?
H=Tak sempat Miss...Kami busy...
S=Ooo....
H=Sbnrnya sy tanyakn utk 'I'
Mereka mahukan clarification knapa 'I' fail that paper...Sambil sy menahan sabar, sy pn m'buat clarification...
S=Ok cmnih...2-2 test kamu fail...Out of 50, bkn 20-25 yg kamu score, malahan below 20
H=Errr...Miss ada simpan lagi tak test kami?
S=Ohh tidak!Kamu tak amik arituh?
H=Tak sempat Miss...
S=Sy dh hapuskan paper kamu...Since kamu tak amik, sy pn tak simpan...
H=Tp Miss...Takkan Miss takleh tolong sket pn utk 'I'?
S=Sy takleh nk buat apa...Kamu (sambil merujuk kpd 'I') fail 2 tests, n then final exam pn kamu tinggal 2 soalan ada soalan yg kamu jwb pn pendek2 je
H=Ala Miss...Tolong la...Gred yg 'I' dpt tuh mcm teruk sgt je...
S=Ohh tak dapat!Jauh kot beza markah utk lulus...This is unfair 4 other students...What would they say if they know bout this?
H=Alaaa Miss jgnlh bgtau diorg plak...
S=No...No...Sy takleh...Sy kena jujur...
H=Miss takleh ke, bgtau if student fail n minta jumpa ke...
S=Ehh, sy ke, yg nk kena bgtau "Eh2, kamu fail la...Mai dtg jmpa sy!"Siapa yg kena put effort sbnrnya?Suppose kamu sndiri yg tahu sama ada kamu perform ataupn tak...Bkn sy yg cari kamu...Ini tidak!Test 2 pn kamu tak amek...Carry mark pn kamu taktau...At lis ble kamu amek test 2 n tgk mana yg prlukn improvement, kamu dtg n jmpa sy tanya apa yg patut...Tp ada kamu buat ke?Tak pn lps final exam, kamu dapati kamu tak perform...Then wat's ur action?Did u come & see me?If skrg baru kamu ingat nk dtg n jmpa sy, mmg it's TOO LATE sudah...(Kn dh kena ceramah)
A.H.L.I=(Hanya m'angguk2)
S=If u want 2 check ur result, I have no problem but it is advisable 4 u not 2 do so because I'm afraid it will become worse.If u dun believe me, then u can ask other lecturer's opinion. 4 sure they will not encourage u 2 do so...
I=Ok Miss...Takpe, this coming sem sy akan buat sungguh2 n dtg jmpa Miss...
S=Ok, that's great!Maybe u can score better than ur fren...
Most of the above dialogue is like only 2-way between me n 'H' only...'I' n 'L' hanya ckp sepatah...Ohh baru skrg baru nk tau carry marks...In fact, I dun think they will come n see me if not because of their fren failed this paper...As wat my boss did mentioned, they take this paper 4 granted because historically nobody fail this paper...But that doesn't mean all students will simply just pass like that...If I'm cruel, there will be a lot more failures students n in fact no student score an 'A'...
B'untunglah students nowadays coz menikmati plbagai kemudahan & technological advancement.H/ever they didn't fully utilize it...They can come n see lecturers at any time both parties r available, or by making appointment via email, phone call or even msg...But not much students put effort on it...Some only knows 2 lodge complaints saying this n that, such as didn't understand the learning session in class...When the lecturer ask them:"Do u have any question?" n majority will say "NO"...But that's not the 'genuine' answer...Kok ye pn malu nk tanya dpn kwn2 ramai2, bleh je tanya personally or individually after class tp tak ramai pn yg buat gitu...They r hoping lecturers 2 "focus" on them individually mcm la lecturers hanya ada 'dia' sorg je dlm class...Then mengata lecturer kt blkg...Apa pn kedudukan lecturer/guru itu di atas...Kdg2 mereka t'lupa akan hal KEBERKATAN ilmu....Fikir2kanlah & renung2kanlah...~Selamat B'amal!~