PDP : 2006 vs. 2011

Holaaa!!!March 2011 telah melabuhkn tirainya...Diam tak diam, byk gk xtvt yg sy involved b'sama students...

Nk cite mcm dh basi je...Suppose kena cite waktu tgh hot...
Ketika entry ini ditulis, sy baru selesai b'pening2 kepala marking test 1 students utk subject yg paling ramai anak buah...Sy gagahkn diri gk sbb dh tak sanggup nk peram diorg punye test...In fact, their coming Test 2 will be next wik..So, u can imagine that it's "due" oledy!Hurm...4 group utk 1 subject di bawah jagaan sy...Nk dapat ganjaran pahala, bkn percuma, kn..So, I nid 2 wok 4 it!Maka, skrg sy dgn ini ingin menamatkn sgala agenda Phase 1 iaitu "Test 1 & Quiz 1"...Masa utk focus pd Phase 2 (walhal t'lmbt sudah)...So far now it's the time 4 me 2 analyze their "group report"...
Utk mereleasekn headache di kepala, sy pn meluangkn sedikit masa d cni b4 mnyambung plan pd siang hari utk develop Quiz 2 & Test 2...Selamba je buat last minit..Dh la OBE subject plak tuh...But what 2 do?I have no choice since byk sgt tugasan yg "berebut2" menuntut priority...

Dh puas melalut, I'll back 2 the main topic..On 2nd wik of March 2011, I went 2 Harvard Suasana Hotel, Gurun, accompanying a compulsory programme requirement --> Participant Development Programme (PDP) (special designed 4 BBA HRM students a.k.a my junior)...Perasaan sy masa tuh rasa mcm tak percaya pn ada sbb pegi ke PDP utk kali ke-2 tp dgn m'bawa new status...If org tanya or suh sy flashback masa zmn sy PDP 5yrs ago, sy pn blurr2 nk ingat smula...Lbh byk yg tak ingat drpd ingat...Bleh dak?? =P B'tuah students skrg...Mereka punye kos dibiayai UiTM..Tak mcm kami, yg kena bear our cost...Namun begitu, masih ada yg enggan bg cooperation utk turut serta dlm program wajib ini...Hairan2!~

Mlm Perasmian oleh Koordinator Program

Gunakn kreativiti anda!!!

Sy taktau cmna nk arrange gmbr2 ni sbb ia mcm tak brapa nk friendly...Takleh nk drag ikut citarasa sy...Hurm; tak upaya la...Ni je gmbr yg sy ada sbb thp kmalasan utk snap pic...Lagi2 bile ada student bwk DSLR, tue yg sy pn 'menumpang' skali...Byk shot menarik mcm flying fox n other outdoor xtvties...=) Haihh...Gmbr2nye Ariff tak bg2 pn lagi...(Icon waiting + icon hurry up!).Sy sendiri tak sabar nk tgk..Yeeha!~

Surprise!!!~Selak punye selak, tiba2 sy t'jumpa beberapa pic masa sy PDP dulu..At that time, I was a student...Kira skrg ni ada photo "after" & "b4" la...Hak3!~

At that time, kami cuma buat di Hosba Valley, Changloon...So sad!Dh la Hasta La Vista pn buat kt SP je..Dh nasib batch kami...So sad!~Gmbr maybe tak brapa clear sbb masa nih masih zaman 'kamera kodak', al-maklumlah...Sume2 gmbr nih sy m'gunakan kelebihan kerajinan dlm diri utk m'scan...Hu3!

P.E.N.A.T

Tatkala ini students sdg melalui fasa climax dlm m'habiskn minggu2 t'akhir kuliah mereka...
Maka sy pn dlm proses m'habiskn 2 chapters yg t'akhir...
Bg kakitgn gomen, smmgnya ari Khamis ini adalah hari yg buat sume t'senyum apabila baki wang dlm acc b'+...
Akan kelihatanlah ramai yg mmenuhi restaurants smpena meraikan penat-lelah usaha selama 1bln...
Tp bg sy, gaji yg akan masuk sikit hari je lagi ni bakal diperuntukkan utk umah...

Insya'Allah sy akan masuk umah baru pd awl bln April dan semestinya deposit perlu dihulurkn...
Dan sy juga akan beli wash machine sbg brg kperluan utama in the house...
Lain2 brg akan mnyusul sikit demi sikit...
Biasalah baru nk mula hidup ni...n dlm proses adjustment, kena la b'tahan sedikit...
Apa pn rezeki Allah itu sntiasa ada n kdg2 dtg tnpa diduga =)

Apabila sy rasa 'penat', sy akan rasa demotivated...
Beban keje + komitmen yg byk buat sy stress...
Boleh dikatakn hampir every wikend sy adalah wikdays...
Dlm hati m'berontak krn tiada ruang utk 'entertain' diri...
Last wikend Dato' VC b'tandang...
Last 2 wikends accompany students trip ke Harvard...
This coming wikend bakal assess/evaluate students' course requirement utk Community Service + Seminar + Program Selangkah ke UiTM...
Next wikend bakal ke Cinta Sayang Golf Club & Country Resort...
Next 2 wikends, bakal ke Langkawi utk accompany students' trip...
In conclusion, last blk Ipoh masa CNY dan sy tak blk Ipoh kira 2bln+...T__T

Lately byk hal menyedihkan jiwa juga merobek tangkai hati ini...
Sesungguhnya d saat ini sy berasa P.E.N.A.T!!!
Td sy seperti t'kedu apabila seorg lecturer spt m'pertikaikn Master yg sy amik...
Menurut beliau, if slps ini beliau jd panel utk intrvw lecturers, beliau takkan amik org2 yg jurusan mcm sy...
Alasannya apabila diberi Amanah Tugas Akademik utk p'bahagian subjects loading, kami takmau mgajar atas alasan itu bkn background kami...
Knapa perlu sgt nk dicanangkn MBA...
Itu hak msg2...MBA itu gnrl...
Sy pilih 2 be specific...Dh nama pn 'majoring'...
Well, every1 deserve utk pilih apa yg t'baik utk hidup mereka...
Nasib baik la ada kwn beliau yg mungkin tahu sy speechless lantas b'kata kpd sy --> "It's ok..."
Bile dgn senior, even kita disagree in certain things, tp better tutup mulut je la sbb if ckp pn bknnye m'bawa kpd kebaikan atau p'ubahan +ve...Hurm!~
Haishhh...Hati ni dok jd versi "tisu" je...Mcm nk kena attend training utk develop hati "kertas" plak lps nih...(Hati kering)....Ngeee!~

Ini dlm hal academic among staff, tak masuk lagi hal2 pelajar yg buat sy pening kpala...
Kdg2 tuh hangin gk la sbb bila kita t'lampau baik sgt, mereka take advantage plak...
Nk tgk sy mengamuk agaknya...
Bila sy fikir2 blk, normally time sy rasa nk amuk tuh, mesti time subjects mereka...
Tp mana yg ok tuh, ok la...
Buat sy senang hati dan lbh dekat dgn mereka...

Kdg2 bila t'ingat gelagat students yg melucukan, bikin sy gelak je...Nk ketuk pn ada!
Mereka pandai amik ati sy brgkali, dgn lawak2 bodo + sengal mereka tuh...
Adoiii la...Loyar buruk tak sudah!
Asal jumpa sy, paw je keje!
Diorg ingat jd lecturer nih kaya sgt gamaknya...Isk3!~
Sume muka riang-ria if t'serempak dgn sy, lagi2 di tmpt2 yg t'dptnya makanan e.g. pasar mlm, restoran...

Baru2 ni mereka tanya mengenai fesbuk acc sy...Hahaha!Lawak2~

Student: Miss mesti ada acc fesbuk, twitter, myspace, frenster,kn...

Sy: Sy takde twitter, tak reti lagi la...msypace zmn dulukala ada la acc tp tak prnh amik port pn...frenster plak dh b'kurun habuknya...jenguk pn idak...nk delete, rasa syg plak...so biarkn je b'sawang cmtuh...(sy m'ulas sume p'tanyaan tp tak beri fidback pd fesbuk)

Student: (Dgn nada tak puas hati/query) Tp miss ada fesbuk,kn?

Sy: Err...Fesbuk?Sy dh lama tak buka fesbuk la..Busy, tak sempat n takde masa...(masih cuba nk lari drpd m'jwb soalan)

Student: Apa nama acc fesbuk miss?

Sy: Err....

Student: Bgtau la miss, kami serius nk add nih...

Sy: Hahaha!~(Gelak je)

Student: Haa...Sy tau, kita search fesbuk miss guna emel uitm...

Sy: Byk la kamu punye emel uitm...Sy tak campur-adukkan formal emel dgn social networking la...

Student: Tak pun kita search by name....Tp, mesti miss tukar nama lain,kn...

Sy: Kah3!~Sy gelak...Tau takpe!~

Student: Takpe miss...kami tak putus asa cari....(adoiii smgt cmni yg takleh blah)

Sy: (Hanya t'senyum sambil geleng2 kpala)...Bkn main b'sungguh2 lagi eh?

Yg nk mengipas + paw yg tak tahan...Geli hati betoi la dgn perangai mereka ni...Hati sy yg sedey nih bley t'ubat ble jumpa mereka....Mungkin inilah "penawar" dlm p'juangan m'didik anak bangsa...

Sbnrnya sy ada gmbr yg nk di share spjg b'xtvt dgn students...Gmbr2 i2 exclusive sy cuma akan paparkn dlm blog saja n tidak di fesbuk...Yeeha!~Alamek, ada students minta blog URL sy...Hurm; nk bagi ke,tak bagi eh??

Sentap!

Di ruang kesempatan yg sempit ini, sy ingin m'curi sedikit ruang masa bg meluahkan apa yg t'buku di hati...

Sy ada class pd jam 4.30pm sbntr lagi...Juga disambung night class buat new students yg b'ada di bwh amanah sy...Since early of this month...Kira p'tghn semester la jugak baru sy takover mereka...

Tp gelora di hati perlu dilepaskan supaya sy dpt cari refresh mood b4 sy jumpa students sbntr lagi...

Sjk kebelakangan ini, sy seringkali t'SENTAP oleh insiden2 t'tentu...

Air mata ni 'murah' sgt...

Lately I'm not in a gud mood...

Always feel down, demotivated, demoralized, mourned...

T'SENTAP adalah 1 prasaan "tiba2" yg merobek tangkai hati...

Ia seperti t'gamam & tak mampu b'kata apa2...

Tatkala hati t'sentap, air mata terus b'genang lalu dgn lajunya memenuhi ruang mata...

Cuba juga ditahan air mata yg b'takung drpd t'tumpah...

Lbh2 lagi drpd dilihat oleh org yg m'buat hati ini t'SENTAP...

Sebaik selesai "interaction" dgn pihak t'babit, terus jari ini m'dail no h/p sahabat sy lantas menangis t'esak2...

Sbnrnya sy blum puas menangis tp sy cuba tahankan diri sbb tak mahu ada org yg t'perasan dgn tangisan sy...

Lagipun sy nk masuk jumpa students, khuatir ada plak yg t'prasan 'mata bengkak'...

YaAllah, pinjamknlah kpdku sedikit drpd kekuatanMu agar aku dpt m'harungi semua ini...

Tak t'daya rasanya utk aku menanggung sume keperitan ini tanpaMu di sisi...

Apabila dahi sudah beberapa hari tak menyentuh sejadah, terasa rindu kpdMu....

Sesungguhnya setiap apa yg ada pd diriku, hidupku & matiku hanyalah utkMu....

Just wonder....

I just wonder.....

I dunno what's happen...

What r my faults...

The last time we contacted, we nvr had any argument/quarrel/misunderstanding...

But she just disappear from me...

Without any clarification...

I miss 1 of my close fren a.k.a best buddy...

The moment we spent & shared 2gether is very precious & meaningful...

A couple of years we we did go thru the moment of joy & sorrow 2gether...

We often share the similarities, esp in the way of how we think of certain issues...

Nevertheless, the differences in our taste & preference doesn't really affect our f/ship...

We just laugh when talking bout our dream "man"...

Becoz of the CHEMISTRY, we manage 2 understand each other in a better way...

Since we r in the same area, same field, same profession, same dream...

We r fated 2 get 2 know each other...

Accept unconditionally, both our strengths & weaknesses, respectively...

My dear fren,

If u read this entry...

I just want u 2 know that I really luv & miss u with full of sincerity & honesty....

F/ship 4ver, lillahi ta'ala...

If this is the 'end' of our f/ship, pliz do 4give me 4 wateva sins/mistakes that I ever committed 2 u...

I'm just an ordinary human being...

Whom may no longer stands 2gether wif u...

I just want u 2 know that u r so special...

U're my strength...

U gave & helped me a lot...

Both in personal & academic...

I'm sure that currently u r really happy & cheerful with ur new status as a FIANCEE...

U have reach ur destiny...

Meanwhile I'm still searching n continuing my journey...

Alone n no longer with u by myside...

Last but not least,

I'm happy 2 c n know that u r happy... 

I pray 4 ur happiness in the coming marriage...

May Allah bless u in wateva u do...

Deeply in my heart, I just want 2 realize that our f/ship is PRICELESS!!

Take care, luv & miss u!!!

...Coretan 1st 2011...

Assalamualaikum & hye everybody!!!

Kpd yg tlh lama m'intai tirai blog sy, pasti dh lama t'nanti2 new entry,kn...(statement perasan)

1st of all, ini adalah coretan sy yg 1st utk 2011...

Dlm 1bln yg tlh b'lalu, byk juga perkara & hal2 yg telah sy lalui...

Yg pasti, ke'busy'an yg t'lampau sudah pasti pnyebab sy tak b'kunjung ke cni...

Rasa mcm nk cite sume tp tak b'daya...

If b'sembang pn bley mkn masa b'jam, inikan pula utk menari2kn jari-jemariku...

Gile semangat ini young lecturer...Jeles dgn korg ok!!!

B4 t'lupa, rasanya masih belum t'lewat utk sy ucapkn Salam Awal Muharram (Maal Hijrah 1432H) & Happy New Year 2011M kpd sume!!!Menyingkap bberapa p'istiwa (yg masih ada dlm memory) ada p'istiwa pahit & manis yg telah b'laku...M'ulas serba-sedikit mengenai rentetan p'jlnn 2010, byk suka-duka yg perlu sy tempuhi/lalui utk b'ada pd thp skrg...

Masih segar dlm ingatan sy p'istiwa pahit yg tak mungkin sy lupa mungkin seumur hidup...Sungguh itu dugaan semasa sy dlm proses menamatkn Master...B4 this dlm m'hadapi apa jua masalah, tak prnh t'lintas utk quit tp masa tuh rasa mcm dh tak mampu lagi nk meneruskn p'jlnn yg tinggal lagi 50%.Sy sama sekali tak prnh m'jangka akan diduga sebegitu...Apa pun, sy terima ketentuan itu dgn redha krn Allah telah memilih sy utk diuji dlm p'istiwa itu...Setiap ujian itu bkn "percuma" krn ada "ganjaran"nya...Dan natijahnya, sy score the highest GPA yg belum prnh sy cecah record sepjg dlm tempoh pengajian semasa undergrads!Ajaib,kn??

Utk p'istiwa manis plak, t'laksana beberapa agenda spt yg direncanakn dlm Azam 2010...Sbg contoh, sy b'jaya menamatkan pengajian Master b4 tamat tempoh yg ditetapkn...Siap b'isterirehat selama 2bln lagi...Dan di saat 2010 melabuhkn tirainya, sy telah memiliki 'liability' lbh awal drpd jgkaan/planing..Apa pun, syukur alhamdulillah!!!Di sini, sy m'curi sedikit ruang masa utk m'buat rumusan b'kaitan rentetan p'jlnn selama 1bln d alaf baru ini:

3 January = Report duty at Faculty of Business Management, UiTM Arau (manis)..Sy tak sangka rezeki pd hari itu, sy yg pd asalnya ditawarkn skim gaji yg lbh rendah telah dinaikkan kpd skim gred gaji yg lbh tinggi dlm sekelip mata...Rezeki New Year!(Alhamdulillah syukur pd Allah...Kpd kwn2 yg masih belum tuh, jgnlh jealous ye...Cpt2lh korg siapkn Project Paper korg...Ahax!~)

14 January = 1 of lecturer from our department, who was formerly my x-1st advisor while I'm doing my Project Paper 4 1st degree, Allahyarham Encik Ahmad Kamal Mohd Noh telah kembali ke rahmatullah...Semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkn dlm glgn org yg b'iman...Arwah sebaya dgn bonda sy, dlm lingkungan awal 50an. Masa beliau supervise sy, more or less bout 3years ago, beliau dh pun sakit2 pd waktu itu...Dan buat kali t'akhir, beliau attended 1st department meeting (2011) which was held on the 3rd January tp on the day sy tak sempat join the meeting since sy report duty on that day...

Apabila dikhabarkn yg beliau hospitalized dan ditempatkn di High Dependency Ward (if tak silap sy, 'up' drpd ICU), sy & rkn2 sejawatan b'gegas melawat arwah pd 10 January...Keadaan beliau ketika itu adalah 'koma' & diberikan ubat tido...Menurut isteri arwah, beliau sudah tak lalu mkn hampir 3wiks...Kata sahabat beliau: "Rupa2nya arwah attended meeting on that day dgn b'kerusi roda adalah utk m'ucapkn selamat tinggal kpd kita sume"...So sad!Apa pun, yg pergi tetap dan telah pn pergi..Kita yg hidup ini perlu meneruskn p'jlnn kita...Yg pasti, suatu hari kelak, kita juga akan m'ikut jejak langkah mereka!Al-Fatihah~

Dlm p'aturan staff UiTM, kami WAJIB m'hadirkn diri dlm 3 sesi p'jumpaan bulanan iaitu:

1) Academic Meeting (Meeting wif all lecturers in UiTM from all faculties - for academic staff only)

2) Staff Assembly (All staff, both academic & admin)

3) Department Meeting (Meeting wif all lecturers from within the same department/faculty)

16 January = Pindah masuk ke umah 1 of my colleague...Thanx 2 Wani 4 inviting me 2 stay wif u 4 the mean time I'm seeking another house 2 b rent =) Sian sy,kn...Selama 2wiks menyewa dgn students...2 b frank, act, it is unethical 4 a lecturer 2 stay under 1 roof wif students...It is not about humanitarian aspect but it is more on professionalism which deals wif a lot of P&C matters...

Ada juga lain2 hal yg telah b'laku spjg p'libatan sy dlm academic profession ini, namun ia tak dpt dikongsikn dgn umum atas sbb2 internal matters + P&C...Agak2 nk meluahkn perasaan psl anything yg b'kaitan dgn academic/UiTM, baik system mahupun xtvt2nya, Dalili & Nashril la mangsa sy...Hahahaha!~Best ada kwn2 dr lain2 campus, at lis bley b'tkr2 info & sharing story =)

Budak2 pulunnn!!!

Insya'Allah utk next session, akan ada lbh byk lagi cerita menarik, lbh2 lagi mengenai subjects yg sy ajar, colleagues & b'hdpn dgn kerenah students...^__^.Anyway, byk juga p'ubahan dlm campus ni...Biasa la bile dh b'tahun tinggal dan sesekali dtg, pasti ada p'ubahan t'tentu...Tak sempat plak sy nk snap pic..Jgn marah ok!

Last but not least, apa yg bley sy katakan, being a UiTM Lecturer is not as easy as wat most people think...It's quite challenging 4 us...1st of all, 2 join the academic club, u should really admire & passionate wif this job...If u just simply choose this career becoz of hoping 4 a higher pay, u r making a wrong decision in ur path...Yeah; u might receive a higher pay but u should remember that "high pay comes wif high responsibility". 

Tidak t'henti setakat itu, UiTM Lecturer is not merely teaching/lecturing or consultation wif students...But there r a lot of other tasks that need 2 b done!!Bak kata my senior lecturers, "dh terjun dlm bidang ni, jgn nk menyesai!!!"Huhu~Then I know, y the academic qualification is being emphasized in this tertiary education because not everybody can p4m this job n comply 2 the standards...1 more thing, u r the 1 who control ur path...In other word, u nid 2 balance ur stress level because it involves wif high stress level. So, it is no longer practical 2 say that "keje gomen tak stress"!!!

1st month sy stay kt cni, almost everyday sy pulang lewat mlm lantaran menyiapkn tugasan/preparation yg plbagai...Mana taknya, masuk keje pun lmbt...Pehtu dgn nk kejar silibus...Takkan sy nk msuk class without any preparation n just say 2 students "Sorry students, sy tak sempat la nk siapkn slide/preparation utk class arini"...B4 this masa jd student, bley gk la nk delay2 if tak larat buat arini, continue esok dan seterusnya but now, cannot do that!!So, by hook or by crook, when the times come, I must complete it..In short, dok jd keje last minute je la baru pecut...

Masih terasa spt di awang2n tak percaya dh naik level from student --> academician...Huhu!~

Boleh bygkn, proposal nk kena submit b4 3pm, tp sy tghari tuh baru terangkak2 edit sana cni, naik turun b'kejar ke sana ke mari, minta sign senior lecturers dll...Pehtu ada foreign university came 4 a visit pd tghari, pg tuh baru gi uruskn pasal tentative programme book...Perghhh!~Kira b'silat saja!!Ni pun masih byk tugas yg menanti...Kira tak sempat lagi la setakat ni, nk rasa mcm "takde keje"...Mana taknya, dh buat planing baik2 tp akan ada2 je prkra yg dtg memintas d tgh2...Tiba2 je dpt phone calls dr senior lecturers request handle itu ini...So, no choice but nid 2 accept it!I always remind myself 2 "expect the unexpected"!!!